Thoughts & How It's Going...

It's 11pm.  All is quiet.  I'm beginning to think that I like to stay up, if for no other reason than the silence! The sunrise will bring joyous chatter and giggly laughter until the evening and bed tucks, and as much as I love it, I'm very much enjoying the quiet hours to gather my thoughts.  So, in bullet form, what's swimming around in my head:

• Bonding/Attachment:  I'm no expert.  In fact, the very day of the earthquake, I made an extensive list of books I wanted to attempt to read in the next few months before Joshua came home on, specifically, toddler adoption.  However, even with my limited knowledge, I believe that we are making beautiful progress.  Joshua has become more and more comfortable as he realizes he is home.  He is most free to be himself here at home, so visitors see more of his personality shine at home.  However, even at home with visitors, he makes frequent trips to Mama's lap for a kiss or reassurance.  When we are out, it takes him a bit to warm up to his surroundings, but if he sees Mama having a good time with her coat off, he'll eventually cut loose a bit.  But, he doesn't get far and he saves his love and affection for his family, high-fiving, shaking hands, and knuckle-punching everyone else.  He knows and prefers his family.  He's very comfortable going off with Daddy, and quite excited to come home to Mama.  
• Behavior:  We feel totally blessed.  Overall, Joshua is wonderful!  He had some initial issues when he first came home, but as we set boundaries for him, he responded appropriately.  We haven't set lofty goals, but as each day progresses, we are showing him in a loving manner, what it looks like to belong to our family.  There is an added challenge with a toddler adoption.  A bit of a language barrier combined with the stubborness of a 2 year old.  His stubborness shows us that he is very intelligent, actually.  So, the challenge comes when we're trying to determine whether he doesn't understand, or if he's just being a turkey.  I've had to mentally cheer myself on and not be frightened off by the fear of messing up....instead realizing that I am the adult, I am smarter, and God made me his Mama.  So far, though I'm far from perfect, I know that I've been parenting for almost 10 years now....there is some wisdom in that!   God's given me great discernment so far, and I am learning Joshua's personality so well that I'm beginning to recognize the difference in his understanding and stubborness. 
  
  So even though we have moments where I have to outwit, outplay, outlast the little guy, the sweet moments far outweigh the difficult ones.  He loves to snuggle, kiss, hug, play, tickle, and please us.  He even does his best to obey...most of the time. As he's felt more secure in his family, he's become sweeter with other children.  He likes to share with others and he's becoming less possessive. 
• Language:  I'm really pleased.  He's not learning 30 new words a day or anything, but I think he's doing great.  I can definitely see that he's hearing/understanding more at this point than he can communicate verbally.  He responds correctly to most simple commands in English.  We name body parts as frequently as possible, read the same board books over and over, sing the same simple songs, repeat verses together as a family...overall, there's a whole lot of talking going on (hence the enjoyment of the occasional silence!)  He does not want to say please in creole or english.  I don't know what the deal is, and I've yet to determine if it's the stubborn side or just a lack of understanding when it comes to this one word.  So, tonight I implemented a bit of sign language for it, and that seemed to work.  He will say "merci" which is thank you.  So, we keep working.  "Yes, Mama" is something we're working on when he's told to do something.  It's so cute, because right now I'm trying to make it fun, and he'll go around saying, "Yeah, Mama, Yeah, Mama!"  :~)  Love it.
• Sleep Patterns:  Joshua is mostly sleeping through the night.  His naptime is improving.  He seems to want to wake up after an hour, which isn't nearly long enough, so I will comfort him and he'll doze back off and sleep some more.  Our goal is at least a 2 1/2 hour nap in the afternoon.  Most of the time, this is doable.  He's still in our room until we feel he is ready to move across the hall.  We want a few solid nights of him sleeping through, and if he wakes up, knowing that we are there with him.
• His past:  I've wondered if he misses the creche or the people, but the truth is, he seems fully engaged and joyfully happy to be here.  The one time I showed him a picture of the children from the creche, he became very sour and looked away.  So, it either makes him sad or insecure, either way I've put away the picture for now.  I'll try again later.  I've wondered about his birth mother and whether or not she is alive.  I know that our director is swamped right now, so I hate to bother him and ask.  I do hope to find out, though. 
• The rest of us:  We're doing great.  The kids are so glad to have him here.  We're adjusting to our schedule change with Steve's job.  School is getting finished...maybe not as smoothly as I'm accustomed to, but we're doing it just the same.  Sometimes it doesn't have to look pretty.  It just has to be done.  For the first week back, I don't think it's gone half bad! I'm sort of staying on top of the laundry, and Steve's been a huge help with keeping the house or hanging with the little dude while I go over geometry...or cooking lunch while I'm off at piano lessons.  I've been so thankful for the meals that came our way...now it's time to add that back to my responsibilities.  Scary!  Overall, my workload has definitely increased, but for the first time in a long time, I feel complete.  I'm a full-time mom to all of my kids.  Because they are all here under one roof.